Tucking Your Loved Ones Into Bed

I remember with great fondness the nighttime routine of tucking my children into bed. It was one of those spaces that always felt sacred, and yet at the time I never really understood why. Call it my naivety, or, more likely that I was simply overwhelmed with the enormity of the job of raising a family.

Night after night it was a practice. Many of you are aware of it, either experiencing it yourself or being the one who creates the environment for the littles in your own lives. You know, after brushing of the teeth, it was picking out books, snuggling up close to read, saying nighttime prayers and then singing the same comforting songs night after night before the final 'sleep tight'...maybe a sip of water here and there or a last minute potty run. They are a distant memory to me now, brought clearly back to my attention because of my present situation, but an absolute clear memory at that.

Why did I miss it then?

That 30 or so, or longer, minutes before bed had everything to do with my children feeling loved and protected. The reminder to my then four young charges, were that they felt safe and secure in our home, where peace and calmness was the norm, shutting out the harshness and chaos of the world beyond our walls. They didn't have to worry or stress, and if and when they did, they knew they could count on us to restore their pounding hearts and wounded spirits.

I must digress at this point to recognize not all of you reading this had this sort of upbringing. And for that I am deeply and incredibly sorry. The opposite, in fact I'm certain. The fear, the hurt...every bump in the night meant harm and horror. The boogie monster was real in your home. However, you no longer go unnoticed, or shoved aside. I am here to say you are seen and you are every bit deserving of being loved and protected. You deserved better and still do. You are worthy of feeling safe and secure. Reach out to get the help you need in order to work on overcoming your trauma, and live victoriously, knowing your worth.

I haven't tucked one of my children into bed in a very long time. They are passed needing their mom to do that. And those of my children with children themselves are tucking their own into bed nightly and I'm sure their routine isn't too far off from what they experienced growing up.

Then a few years ago when we met and adopted a young woman who had been grossly abused and misused growing up, we had the opportunity to once again introduce her to what it meant to be 'tucked into a safe and protected space'; one she had never experienced. This is a story and a testimony for another time, one that absolutely needs to be told, and I promise it will be.

But the reason all this came to mind tonight, and I couldn't sleep without writing it all down, was that, as many of you may know, my sweet daddy of 100+years came to live with us recently after a fall, a hip fracture, surgery, and rehab. Tonight, as I was literally tucking him into bed like I used to with my own children, and like I've done every night since he came to live with us...after assisting in brushing his teeth, and listening to some of his audible book, he removed his hearing aides and sighed heavily as he lay his head on his pillow. A tear slipped from my eye, as all the years of tucking my children into their beds, in the very same room I might add, came rushing back. He allowed me to tuck the covers around him, and kiss him gently on the head. He then expressed such gratitude for taking such sweet care of him...it was at that moment I recognized he felt the same safety, the same love and protection that my children had all those years ago.

And then, an epiphany moment. As my memory reached way back in time, almost 65 years ago, I actually remembered myself as a baby. One of my earliest memories. My daddy, the one lying in the bed, walking me up and down the hall of our home, whispering to me, "lay your little head down, 'sweet bebe', you're safe with me". He had done for me what I did for my children, they are doing for theirs, and that I have the honor of doing for him, minus the carrying part.

Your legacy matters. What you do today will have a profound impact on the lives of those who count on you now, who look up to you now, who depend on you to be there for them now. So they can be equipped to do it for their children and maybe someday for you. Don't miss the opportunity to love who is in your charge, protect and teach them, and be present! That's what matters most.

So I will carry on loving my 100 year old daddy in our home, with the help of my incredibe husband...helping him shower and dress, fixing his meals, bringing him his favorite chocolate milk, cleaning up after any messes that occur, finding him movies to watch and books to listen to, and yes, tucking him in every night...so he will feel the safety, protection, and true, authentic love he showed me.

Be the safe space for those who need it. And know that it matters.